So Big

Way back in September, I worked myself into tears while at work over the mere thought of Olivia climbing into a school bus and riding the whole four miles to school. This was even with her sister on the bus with her.

My how far we’ve come!

This morning I was getting ready and Olivia presented herself. “Look,” she demanded, pirouetting in front of me so I could get the full effect of her outfit.

Now, let me say right here that the clothes she was wearing were the ones I’d laid out for her but she’d found them herself (our routine is that I lay out the clothes for the week and bring each outfit into the bathroom where I’ll be showering. The girls find them on the counter each morning.) She’d taken off her jammies herself and then put on her clothes, from underwear to shorts, shirt and socks.

I’m so proud of how far Olivia has come.

I’m also proud of how far I’ve come from worrying about my little bitty girl to being able to see how grown up she is and wanting more for her. I love her newfound independence, her confidence in her own abilities.

These days I don’t worry nearly as much as she marches out the door to wait for the bus. I don’t worry about her having a potty accident at school (those are so few and far between that we often wonder if she’s not feeling well if they do occur.)

I can see her physical growth, the maturity in her face. She’s lost a lot of that baby look and looks more like a five year old, which makes sense, because, duh, she is five. But even last fall, she still looked so little.

Her confidence goes a long way toward making her look older. She’s more sure of herself, she knows she can do so much more than she knew last fall. She climbs stairs without help, alternating feet and keeping up with me as I carry laundry up and down the stairs.

She knows to put her milk back in the fridge after breakfast or dinner. She goes to the bathroom by herself to pee (yay!!!) and even poop sometimes.

My girl is growing up and I couldn’t be prouder. And sometimes, I think the only thing holding her back is me.

Yes, I do sometimes still baby her. But that’s because she lets me. Which still isn’t fair to her. But she’s so snuggly and rocking her to sleep gives us both a moment of comfort. So for all the maturing she’s doing, we’re both still holding onto some of our old, baby-like routines.

And that’s okay too. One milestone at a time.