The Wall

At around 2:00 this afternoon, I hit a wall.

I felt like if I had to hear Olivia talk about butt cheeks one more time I was going to lose my shit.

And when she chirped a little ditty about naked butt cheeks I slapped my hand on the washer and ordered her to leave the room.

In my defense, I'd suggested that she find another topic on which to orate several times in the minutes before the loss of my shit.

It didn't help that she woke up this morning at 5:20, bright eyed and ready to start the freaking day.

I handed her a flashlight and that kept her occupied for about an hour. By 6:30, she was hungry and had had it with the flashlight.

My project for the day was to clean the girls' room. I needed to go through their clothes and pack away the ones Alyssa has outgrown for Olivia to grow into as well as pack away the ones that O has outgrown to pass down to Gracie.

It was going fine except that Olivia needed to be my shadow. Which, okay. I get it.

But hearing a constant monologue expounding the virtues of big, naked butt cheeks got old pretty fast.

And so I snapped.

When my open hand slapped the lid of the washer, O's eyes got huge. When I ordered her to leave the room, she turned and raced out the door.

But there were no tears from her. In the end, she thought it was a big joke.

Which frustrates me. And yet...whatever. Rigth now, I'm too tired to try and explain it.

She likes the fact that the words butt and cheek but together make it 'naughty'. Not quite naughty enough for her to ban it from the house but just naughty enough that she knows not to use it at school. So it's fun and silly.

And it drives me nuts, which is a perk when you're five years old and want to push your mother's buttons.

Lucky Olivia, this mom seems to have a lot of buttons these days that are just begging to be pushed.

If only I could figure out how to push through this wall. I just know things are better on the other side.