It is my habit on the weekends to take a hot bath after the girls are asleep. It's my alone time, my time to read, relax, soak up the solitude and unwind from a day of non-stop parenting.
This past Friday night 9pm rolled around and I suggested to a sleepy Alyssa that it might be time to go to bed.
She asked me if I was going to take a bath.
I said I wasn't sure, maybe. Probably.
She settled against the couch and said, "Let's go to bed in a minute."
About ten minutes later, she said, "I'll go to bed now if I can get a pillow and blanket and lay by the tub while you take your bath."
Umm, no. That was not happening. The whole point of the bath is...well, see the first paragraph of this post. It does not include the company of a ten year old lying beside the tub, probably asking what I'm doing or even wanting to play with a toy in my water. No thank you.
And you know what? I felt no guilt whatsoever at denying her request.
I'm a pretty lenient mother. I let a lot of things go. I even give in probably more often than I should. I bend over backward to try and make my children happy. But this time? I was not giving in. I wasn't going to give up one of my two nights a week when I am completely, totally alone.
I took her to bed, tucked her in and kissed her good night. I still felt no guilt over.
I have to remind myself often that I'm a pretty good mom. I do my best and love my girls to bits. They know this, even if they also know that I'm not going to let them join me while I take my late-night baths.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
1 comment:
I have begun to make alone time for myself lately because I just cannot do it anymore. I started locking the door when I take a shower and I feel no guilt not even when they are standing at the door crying.
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