The Good

You know, I’m really good at talking about everything that I’m doing wrong. I’m good at tearing myself down and not giving myself credit for just about anything.

But I’m kind of tired of that. I’m tired of always looking at my weaknesses and ignoring my strengths.

Last night after dinner, I stood at the sink and started filling it with water. I grinned at Tom and said, “The little woman needs to get these dishes washed.”

He laughed with me and then…I kind of ruined the moment by saying, “I’ve never really been all that good at being ‘the little woman’, have I?”

He didn’t know how to respond.

I need to learn to stop myself before those negatives come out. I need to learn to accept compliments and yes, even compliment myself sometimes.

So…here goes. I’m going to try and come up with a few things I’m doing well these days.

I manage to wash the dishes after every meal. Where did this come from? We haven’t used our dishwasher in months, which…the hell?

I manage to stay on top of the laundry pretty well. I don’t do it during the week because, well, work and feeding/bathing children gets in the way but the weekends don’t feel overwhelmed by laundry so that’s a plus.

I’m good at rubbing Olivia’s back even to the point of my arm aching and my will to live waning. She is very sensory and having her back rubbed and/or scratched relaxes her and helps her fall asleep. Knowing this helps me keep up the monotony of the task just because I know she’ll sleep better.

I’m good at encouraging Alyssa. I know she needs to hear that I think she’s awesome and that I know she’s trying her best. Sitting with her and reading or even watching stupid television and cracking jokes means the world to her and because of that, it means the world to me. I can make her laugh harder than anyone else. I’m really proud of myself for that.

I’m learning that life is hard enough without making it harder on myself. A little kindness goes a long way and the best place to start being kind is at home, with ourselves and those we love the most in the world.