Cranky

I was very irritable last night. Why?

Well, I hate the recliner in our living room. HATE it. I mean, really truly detest that chair. And it’s the chair I have to sit in if Olivia is going to eat in the living room. Yes, we eat in our living room. Get over it.

Yikes, sorry for biting your head off. Guess I’m not quite over my crankiness, huh?

Anyway, we don’t sit on the couch to eat because even though it’s three years old, it’s still in very good shape and if we were to sit on it to eat/feed someone ice cream, well, it wouldn’t stay in good shape for long, now would it?

No, it would not. So the recliner it is. And yet I hate that chair so much. I hate sitting in it, I hate sitting by it. I hate it.

So there’s the recliner sitting in its corner, all hated and all.

And then there is the other adult living in our house having all these thoughts and opinions on EVERY DAMN THING and it makes me insane with rage sometimes.

When this other adult shares a thought or idea with me, I always, ALWAYS give a comment of support. I never give suggestions on how this other adult could make their idea BETTER. I just support their endeavors.

But when I make a suggestion or have an idea of my own, there is always discussion, always an opinion, an opinion that I didn’t ask for, and ways to make my thought, my idea better. There is always something wrong with what I’ve suggested.

I don’t argue opinions. I won’t. Opinions aren’t fact, they can’t be proven. They’re just someone else’s thoughts, someone else’s own ideas or feelings. You can’t argue feelings.

And yet, every single feeling or opinion I offer gets debated and I’m so, SO tired of it. I don’t always say something in hopes of opening up a discussion. Sometimes, I just make a comment to make the other adult in my house aware of what I’m doing, rather than asking for another opinion or option.

Sigh.

This is what happens when you cohabitate with someone who has very strong opinions on pretty much everything in the entire world. And see, I don’t really have strong opinions on all that much. When I do have a strong opinion I’ll fight for it, but it doesn’t happen often enough for the other adult near me to really understand how frustrating it can be for someone else around you to always have a thought on what you’re planning/doing/cooking/cleaning/WHATEVER.

We discussed this a little last night, my partner in this life and I. We discussed how hard it is for me to even mention anything at all because it just means, to him, that I’m opening the subject for discussion.

He said he doesn’t mean to run roughshod over me, that he just often feels really strongly about something.

At that I said, “Yeah, you feel strongly about everything. And as far as you’re concerning, you’re always right. Sometimes, there isn’t a right or wrong, there are just two different ways to do something.”

I’m not sure he got it, quite honestly. But at least said something.

Except, it was after I said something that my real crankiness came bubbling up, setting in my chest like a cinder block. Then I sat in that horrible chair to feed Olivia some strawberry ice cream and I hate every single minute of it.

Then we watched Funniest Home Videos and there was so much stupid going on in those videos that I could barely stand it.

The girls were entertained, which is awesome. I did laugh a few times because they laughed so hard but my irritation at everything was there, looming over the room.

Thankfully, my children find me resting bitch face hilarious and all was well in their world.

In the end, that’s what counts the most.