Awkward

I am socially awkward. Sometimes I laugh too loud or too late at jokes told in a group. Sometimes I laugh even if I don’t get the joke, just to feel included. I’ve been known to say something I think is funny only to be met with silence because, yeah, it wasn’t funny at all. If I don’t get to sit next to someone I know on a plane, I’ve had more than one flight where I don’t talk at all, unless it’s to the flight attendant who asked me a direct question.

Which is why it’s not surprise that my girls are on the shy side. They come by it naturally. And even as I try to help ease Alyssa out of her tendency not to speak to people when spoken to, I understand what she’s going through. I know that she WANTS to be one of those outgoing, fun girls, but she just isn’t and it’s not something you can force.

On top of the social awkwardness, I’m also fashion-challenged. I can often be found with a pant leg stuck in a sock. Or I’ll go to the bathroom at work after being there for two hours and find that the stupid collar of my shirt has been folded weird all morning long.

I have no instincts when it comes to fashion. I’m just lucky that jeans are considered pretty acceptable anywhere I go. I’m a jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt kind of girl. Anything more than that feels experimental and it never, ever goes over well.

Further evidence of the challenge fashion gives me is that once, I left the bathroom with my skirt tucked into my underwear. Thankfully, I was with kind friends who promptly pulled my skirt out of my underwear before we left the bathroom. But really? Come on!! It isn’t like I was five when that happened. I was actually 25, if you must know.

I’ve always hoped that maturity and age would give me a semblance of fashion sense and the ability to fit into a crowd. Alas, that isn’t to be. Just this morning, one of my co-workers had to fix the hood on my sweater. Apparently, I’d been walking around work all morning long with it inside out, the hood, not the sweater. But yeah, I had no idea that anything was wrong. I was just going about my business, thinking I was fine but no, I was having a fashion ‘moment.’

I can only hope that since my shyness and social awkwardness didn’t skip the next generation, that perhaps we’ll get lucky and my inability to grasp even the simplest facets of fashion will have skipped over Alyssa and Olivia and they’ll be able to go through life without having to check their collars, their pant legs, their skirts and their underwear for any fashion faux pas.