Reality

Back in July, I attended the baby shower for my stepson D and his girlfriend S. While at the baby shower, S said that D wanted at least six kids.

She was pregnant with her second, his first.

Now that the baby we were ‘showering’ with love back in July is here, D has decided that maybe two kids are plenty.

I laugh but only because I get it.

Once upon a time, when I was young and inexperienced in the whole parenting thing, I thought I’d like at least three kids, maybe four. Of course, I also thought I’d have enough money to be able to by a stay at home mom and be able to get out and take the kids places and have a grand old time just raising my brood.

Ahem.

Then reality hit. I married a man who already had three kids who were teenagers when we got married.

I turned 32 and then Alyssa was born.

Almost four years later, Olivia was born and I was 36 years old. And Olivia was such a hard baby. She didn’t mean to be, she just hurt so much and there was nothing we could do to help her except comfort her and allow time to pass so she could outgrow the reflux and low muscle tone and the immobility.

We were the lucky ones.

I asked S yesterday if adding a second child had been easy. Before she answered, I told her a woman I worked with told me that the second child just eases right into the family and no adjustments have to be made and it’s just so easy.

And I decided after Olivia was born that my co-worker is either a liar or she just didn’t remember how hard the infant stage is.

S admitted that while having a second baby hasn’t been as hard as she’d expected, she absolutely wouldn’t say it’s been easy.

Noah appears to be a pretty easy baby, though, so there is that.

D did tell me that he’d like to be done having kids by the time he’s 26. He turned 24 in July, so there you go.

He admitted with an eye roll that his sister-in-law, who was also at the shower I attended back in July and who has three kids already, hopes to have two more before she’s 30. She’ll be 26 in November.

I relayed (gossiped?) that news to Tom and he shared D’s eye roll. He also suggested that J and K (the older stepson and his wife) have time to realize that three kids really is a great number and to stop.

I probably sound judgey here. I don’t mean to.

Those with large families have my utmost respect. I think if you can manage it both financially and emotionally, good for you.

I just know I don’t have it in me, not now at this stage in my life. I’m very, very happy with my two girls. The reality of them is enough, sometimes it can even feel like too much.