Tantrums

A couple of weeks ago at gymnastics, Olivia and I witnessed a meltdown of grand proportions. This little girl had just finished her own gymnastics class and was told that they had to stay and wait for her sister’s class to end, which was at least an hour from being over.

This little six year old, let’s call her Zelda, was exhausted. That much was obvious. She’d had a full day of kindergarten, a 40 minute gymnastics class and she was done.

I don’t know what set her off but Zelda quickly lost her little mind to the point that she was stomping her feet, screaming in that frustrated, exhausted tone, not saying actual words but just so agitated that she had to get it out.

Olivia looked me, the expression on her face saying, “What the hell?”

See, neither of my kids has ever had a tantrum or a meltdown.

Wait!!! Before you think this is a post about me congratulating myself for being an amazing mother who had never given her children a reason for a meltdown, no.

No, no, no, that is not where this is going.

The fact that neither A nor O has ever thrown a tantrum has nothing at all to do with me and my parenting skills.

It has everything to do with luck. I am lucky to have never encountered a tantrummy child that is my own.

I felt awful for Zelda’s mom. I could tell she was tired too. She was also frustrated with Zoe’s inability to communicate the reasons for her frustration. But when you’re six and exhausted, sometimes you don’t need a reason to meltdown other than the fact that your six and your exhausted.

I tried to give Zelda’s mom a sympathetic smile. I hope it didn’t come off as condescending. It absolutely wasn’t meant that way. It was meant as a shared moment, from mom to mom, to let her know that we all know that a child throwing a tantrum sometimes can’t be helped. There is no fault, no need for embarrassment.

While I can’t say I know from experience that it is embarrassing, I can imagine that having your child stand in the middle of a hot room filled with waiting parents, throwing herself on the floor and wailing as if someone is poking her with a sharp stick isn’t the most pleasant experience.

And we all know, even though my kids have not yet bothered to throw a tantrum…it could still happen at some point. The busier we get, the more hectic our lives get, the more likely I’ll be out and about with a tired, hungry child who can only express her frustration by throwing herself against a wall and screaming her frustration for all the world to hear. And won’t I feel smug then?