I think she was about two years old when she started pulling her hair. She sucks her right thumb and pulled the hair out of the left side of her head.
Whenever anyone mentions the pulling, I try to give a non-verbal clue that we aren't talking about it.
Olivia wants to grow her hair out. She wants her hair to be long like Alyssa's.
I've told her a few times that the only way for it to be long like her sister's is if she stops pulling it out.
She nods seriously and runs off to play. A few hours later, I'll often find her on the couch, her right thumb in her mouth and her left hand pulling strand after strand of hair out of her head.
Last June, we gave her her first buzz cut. Tom cut her hair to 1/4 in long all over. We made a big deal out of it, telling her how cute she was with her short hair. And she was. She can totally pull of super short hair.
I mean, she's pretty frickin' cute, right?
By fall, her hair had grown back to the point that I was calling it her "Mia Farrow" look. Oh, my goodness, the shit I got for comparing my preschooler's hair to that of an actress in a horror movie. Whatever. Rosemary's Baby wasn't even that scary.
Her hair had also gotten long enough that she was able to grasp it to pull again. By the time we cut it again, she'd pulled to the point that one spot was still evident even after the rest of her hair was 1/4 of an inch long.
When she first started pulling, I fought it. I could often be heard telling her to stop pulling. I often took her hand away from her hair myself.
But lately? I've made peace with it. I've realized how much stress I was causing her by even mentioning it. And honestly, a four year old shouldn't have stress in her life. A four year old should also not be self-conscious, which is another reason I avoid talking about her hair pulling with people when she's around.
We've also decided not to cut it all off again. I hesitate to say that she seems to not be pulling so much these days but...the difference between the right side and the left isn't nearly as noticable as one might think. The left is thinner and yes, shorter, but not by much. And if I comb it just right (goodness, this is where I confess that I've given my four year old a comb over, isn't it?), it's pretty cute.
It had been a few weeks since we saw some of the mom's at gymnastics and two of them made a big deal over how cute and long O's hair is getting. She beamed.
So let me amend that first sentence. I don't talk about her hair PULLING around her. But to say that her hair is extra cute? Oh yes, I say that so she can hear it all the time.
Because the things a four year old shouldn't have to deal with include self-consciousness and stress.
Her days should be full of new, super cute outfits, not quite too tight shoes, fairy wings, nail polish, red lipstick, dolls and waiting for her sister to get off the bus. There's plenty of time for stress in this life of ours.
Hair is not something I want to stress about anymore. Pull it? Okay. Let it grow? That works too.
6 comments:
She looks perfect with that super short hair!
I used to do the same thing!!!! Except I would suck the right thumb and then use the right pointer finger and wrap my hair around it and it would fall out. My mom has pics of me with the right pigtail really thin and the left pigtail really thick and to fix if she totally did thd "combover". But eventually I grew out of it. She does look cute with short hair!!
AND I meant to add that I'm sure she will grow out of it too :)
Tommie, I about died laughing at that part about Mia Farrow. Seriously, who cares what movie it was, you were just making a comparison. I don't know why it made me laugh so hard but I literally LOL'd. Olivia is so precious. She is such a beautiful little girl, and I am jealous I will never have a blondie like her! When it comes to her hair, I totally get it. You just want the best for her no matter what it may be! And you made some really good points, and I think you are doing a great job. You are handling it in ways I didn't even think of. You are totally right, she can rock that short hair like Halle Berry.
She looks beautiful either way!! I kept Sophie's hair short for over a year to try and stop the pulling too she did pull off a pixie cut quite beautifully too. I was lucky enough it seems to have worked but I know things change and will just deal with it if we run into it sometime in the future. But I totally agree with you, she does not need stress and frankly neither do you!
What a darling little lady!! What your daughter suffers from is a mental illness called: Trichotillomania fine more infor here! http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002485/
Good Luck!
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