The Oldest

Alyssa is feeling very put-upon these days. She’s frustrated because suddenly, with less than three months of still being four years old, Olivia has discovered the fun of messing with Alyssa’ stuff.

And as far as Alyssa is concerned, everything in the house that has even the potential of being fun or cool is hers. Everything.

That means that everything that Olivia touches is Alyssa. At least in Alyssa’s eyes that is the case.

Last night, for example, after bath, Olivia grabbed a small Miss Piggy toy to take with her from the bath to the rocking chair.

Alyssa had a fit. She was playing with that!

I asked her where she’d been playing with it. She said, “In the bath.”

I told her bath was over and asked if she planned to continue to play with it after bath.

No, she was not going to play with it after bath but she planned to play with it during the next bath and so Olivia needed to put it back RIGHT THIS SECOND.

Olivia is usually pretty good about just ignoring her sister’s tirades. She just doesn’t care. She doesn’t do what Alyssa insists she do but she also doesn’t fight about it. She just pretends that Alyssa isn’t talking to her at all. It’s pretty funny, actually. Though recently, Olivia’s been known to say to me or Tom, “Lyssie’s being mean to me.” So maybe the ignoring is getting old to her and she’s ready to fight back. Or at least tattle.

But as far as Miss Piggy last night, I told Alyssa that if she was done playing with it, she couldn’t very well dictate that her sister couldn’t play with it.

She declared, “But she always loses everything she plays with.”

I patiently informed her that we were going straight to the living room and once there we’d be sitting in the rocking chair. I told her that once O was asleep, Miss Piggy would take up residence on the table beside the couch.

She huffed, “She always gets her way!” Then she flounced out of the room.

Yes, she flounced. She’s such a tween!

Just a half hour later, Olivia abandoned Miss Piggy to her place on the table beside the couch and went in search of other contraband. Specifically, a pair of pink and blue glasses that sort of have the ability to turn paintings done with a special marker into 3-D drawings.

The instant Alyssa saw her wearing those glasses she shouted, “Olivia! Put those glasses back RIGHT NOW!”

Olivia once again ignored her sister, snuggling deeper into Tom’s arm, laughing at something he said to her.

Alyssa said to me, “Mooom!! Those are mine. She always breaks the thingy off the frame. Make her take them off!”

Now…there are some things in our house that are exclusively Alyssa’s. Bubby the dog, Pickles the stuffed cat that looks just like the one that was adopted by Fred, her Orbees (gosh those things are annoying!) These things and a few others are off-limits to Olivia.

But some of the crap we having laying around our house is just crap. And those glasses are among the crap. They’re cheap plastic things that are not that special. I told Alyssa that as long as the glasses stayed on O’s face, they were fine.

Again, she was disgusted that Olivia always gets her way.

I’m the oldest child in my family. I get that it can be frustrating to be the one who always has to give in. I have two younger brothers who were quite annoying when we were growing up. So I get it. But I also think that being the oldest is something special and I tried to explain that to Alyssa after Olivia was asleep.

I reminded her how much Olivia wants to be just like her. She tries to do everything that Alyssa does. She watches her sister and imitates her all the time. Alyssa said this is annoying.

I told her she should be flattered because it shows how much her sister looks up to her, how much she loves her.

I reminded her that there are things that we don’t let Olivia touch and that those things are special. But I also gently told her that sometimes, we just have to share. We all live there together in that house. Some things have to be community property. She doesn’t have a claim on every single item in the house, no matter how cool she might think it is.

I hope I made an impression. I know that it’s tough when you think you’re annoying little sister gets everything she wants. But sometimes appearances can be deceiving. I pointed out that she gets to stay up later than Olivia, that all of Alyssa’s clothes are new, she never gets hand-me-downs, she is usually the one who gets to pick out something new if they’re getting a toy (mostly because Olivia just doesn’t care enough to pick it out) but that those new things need to be shared.

We’ll see. I’m sure that this is just a preview of the pre-teen and teen years to come. There’s sure to be some major drama.