Thursday, September 15, 2011

Rules

Alyssa likes rules. I’ve watched her in teaching/coaching situations. She listens to the teacher/coach attentively, making eye contact, nodding when she understands, asking questions when she doesn’t. She likes knowing what is expected of her and meeting those expectations. She really hates it when she doesn’t understand instructions. She has an almost irrational fear of ‘getting in trouble’ for something that might not even be in her control. She’s a lot like me in that way.

There were many nights when I was a kid that I’d lie awake, worrying about getting into trouble for something or other.

Last night was one of those nights for Alyssa. It took her an hour to fall asleep. She was worried about her reading log and her math log. We hadn’t had time for her to do 15 minutes of math last night because she did her homework and then did 40 minutes of reading.

I kept assuring her that I’d wake her up early the next morning and we’d get those 15 minutes of math done. I also assured her that I’d write the work she’d done on her logs and sign them. It would be fine, I told her five hundred thousand times.

And she’d sigh and say, “I know.” Then she’d toss and turn and whisper, “I just can’t fall asleep.”

Then we’d talk some MORE about the reading log and the math log and I‘d reassure her again that it was fine. I’d tell her there was no way she’d get in trouble because there was nothing for her to be in trouble for.

I finally asked her what else was bothering her.

“Nothing,” she mumbled. “I’m just worried that we’ll forget to do math tomorrow morning.”

OMG!! GO TO SLEEP! Of course, I didn’t say this but I sure did think it. I assured her we’d do the math. I told her there was no way we’d forget, because it SUCH a big deal and I wouldn’t let her down by forgetting to do something so important.

Finally, I told her I needed to go to the bathroom. I told her I’d be right back and that she needn’t follow me to the bathroom in five minutes to see what was taking me so long.

Ten minutes later, I emerged from the bathroom to find her sound asleep. Yes, I do think that perhaps my presence in that room was disturbing her sleep as much as the concern about math. Even though she whispered earlier in the night, “I just feel better when you’re in the room with me.”

I wonder if she could somehow sense that I wanted her to go sleep so I could slip downstairs and watch the season premiere of “America’s Next Top Model”?

Yes, I know that my child’s mental well-being is more important than a stupid reality show that highlights the psychotic self-centeredness of Tyra Banks but it’s FUN and I think that by 9:00pm, I should be allowed to have a little fun. My children should be asleep and I should be able to indulge in some trashy tv is that’s what I want to do with my time.

I need to figure out how to filter out my own impatience when I’m trying to get them to go to sleep. Perhaps that will somehow throw off their own psychic ability to know when I most want them to go to sleep. It’s worth a try. I’m sure we’ll all be happier for it.

And yes, I did call my mom this morning and apologize for the many nights like last night that I put her through when my own worries kept me awake, needing reassurance.

2 comments:

Tiffany said...

Gabe is just like that!! He takes after me. :)

Anonymous said...

Aww... I have one like that, too. I think it's good in the long run. In her grown-up life, I think she'll be more organized and on-task... At least that's what I tell myself about my little worrier.

Hugs!