Friday, December 16, 2011

Teachable Moment

This morning Alyssa asked me to put her hair in a bun. No problem, Kiddo. First, though, we had to dry it because she took a bath first thing this morning and we washed her hair.

While the dryer was blowing her hair around her head, she asked me a question.

“Mom? Is another word for sibling ‘retard?’

I was speechless for a few seconds, wondering where she’d heard that word. We don’t use that word in our house.

I finally said, “Who says that word?”

She said that a friend of hers always calls her (the friend’s ) little brother a retard.

I told her, “Well, that’s a very ugly word. It doesn’t mean sibling. Most people think it means stupid.”

I went on to give her the background on the word, explaining that it really means late or slow.

I emphasized that it’s a horrible word and that I hope she never uses it because it’s really mean, really, really nasty.

She took everything I said very seriously and nodded wisely when I told her that she should never call anyone such an ugly word.

I hope neither Alyssa nor Olivia are ever faced with that word in a personal way. I pray that I can keep them both wrapped in our safe little bubble and that neither of them is ever hurt by that word.
But I know I can’t protect them from everything so I want to give them both the knowledge they might need to combat words like that.

Alyssa has mentioned that one of the kids in her class is ‘special needs.’ Those are her words, not mine. I need to ask her if she knows that that means. I want to do so gently.

We’ve explained to Alyssa in age-appropriate words that Olivia has special needs. I’ve mentioned 5p- and what it means. Alyssa’s been there for many a therapy session. She knows that O receives some therapy at school these days and she understands that Olivia isn’t as physically strong as kids her age and even younger. But Olivia is just her sister as far as Alyssa is concerned and that’s what I want for both of them.

I don’t want to make every single day about special needs or teachable moments or even 5p- but I will take those moments as they come and try to use them to make my girls more aware of the differences that exist in all of us, that make us all special and yet still so very ‘normal.’

Each day brings a new challenge and a new chance to be special for those of us with 42 chromosomes and those with more or less. It’s what we all make of each day that counts. Right?

Right.

3 comments:

Should Not Operate Heavy Machinery said...

Wow! Kind of crazy how a child that young uses that word. But you are right, it is a learning opportunity for your daughter...

Just another mom said...

When Hailey was very young, a boy in my son's second grade class called Hailey the r word. Zachary punched him in the face & was suspended from school for a few days. It was the only time that I ever praised my child for getting in trouble. We went to icecream when I picked him up from school. Although I told him that it isn't ok to hit people and explained to him how he could have handled it better, I was secretly proud that he would go to that length to protect his sister. I am sorry that you had to have this discussion with your daughter but I am also glad that you were able to have it in such a positive way.

Should Not Operate Heavy Machinery said...

I already LOVE Zachary and haven't even met him!