Moving On

Well, that was self-indulgent. So much so that I can't bring myself to even go back and read it. So please forgive any typos because I won't be editing. I feel like if I went back and read what I wrote yesterday, it would all be a bunch of "Wah, wah, wah..."

And let's move on, shall we?

Alyssa had a tough time going to sleep last night. See, she was excited about today. This evening she has her last gymnastics class of the season and it's "Bring a Friend" night. Because her friend S's mom is awesome, S is going to class with Alyssa.

But that's not what got her so excited. It's the fact that S is going to ride the bus home with Alyssa and spend an hour or so at my mom's until I can pick them up for gymnastics.

I know! I love how kids this age pick the sweetest things to make into a big deal. S will get to sit with Alyssa on the bus. They'll be together for HOURS. Alyssa's worlds will be coliding. Her school world, her bus world, her gymnastics world. It's almost too much for one little eight year old to take.

I sometimes have to get all maudlin and stupid in order to bring myself back up with a little perspective.

My cousin's daughter is a Riley kid too. Sabella was born a year before Alyssa. It's actually kind of cool because we have three November babies all in a row. Sabella was born in 2005, Olivia in 2006 and Jaxon in 2007. We've had their birthday parties together the past couple of years. Someday one or more of them is going to resist this tradition but for now, it's great fun.

Anyway, Sabella had to take a trip to Indy. She was having trouble with her feeding tube.

And...that right there says it all, doesn't it?

She's five years old. She has a feeding tube and so many other issues.

And here I am bitching about being fat and having a thin husband?

So yeah, I got over myself last night and am feeling much better today.

And I pray for sweet Sabella and her strong, amazing mother. When I think of what they go through every single day? I feel less like bitching about hairpulling and tedious potty training issues.

We're lucky. I know that.

I'm lucky. I've lived a very, very good life and I'm incredibly blessed to have done so.

Yesterday, at one point I declared, "I'm running away."

I was actually feeling good and was teasing.

But later in the day, Olivia came up to me and leaned against me. She whispered, "I don't want you to go away."

I was confused. I hugged her and told her I wasn't going anywhere.

She told me again that she didn't want me to go away.

And then I got it. I remembered what I said. I picked her up, snuggled her sweet, small body against mine and said, "If I ever run away, can I take you with me?"

She smiled and then said, "And Lyssie?"

I nodded. "We'd definitely have to take Lyssie with us. I don't ever want to be far away from you two. How about we take Daddy too?"

With that, she was satisfied. I wasn't running away. And if I did? I was taking the whole family with me. Because it wasn't even them I was running away from, it was my own foul mood.

In the end, I just had to ride it out. Stay afloat until it receded. With my sweet girls' help, it went away pretty quickly. Like I said, I'm very, very lucky.