Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Art of Marital Communication

It’s only taken me ten years to figure Tom out but at last, I have done it.

My mom invited us to her house for dinner last night. It would be me, Tom, the girls, my brother, his son, his girlfriend, her daughter and my mom and step-dad.

Tom did not want to go.

I said, “Okay, don’t go.”

He hemmed and hawed all weekend long about how Valentine’s day dinners aren’t nearly as important as a family dinner at say, Christmas or Thanksgiving.

I told him he was right and he should stay home.

He tried to come up with excuses as to why he wouldn’t be there.

I agreed that each of his excuses were fine and we could say whatever he wanted as his excuse. I even suggested that we not make an excuse and just say he had a lot of work to do.

As of Tuesday morning as I was herding the girls out the door on the way to Gram’s house, he was suggesting that I drop the hint to my mom that he might be taking a trip to see J and D (Tom’s sons) who live over an hour away. That would mean he might be home in time for dinner.

I nodded and said, sure, I could mention that.

I didn’t mention it.

When I got to work yesterday, he’d sent an email. It said he’d be at the dinner that evening. He explained that there really was no reason for him not to go to the dinner other than his anti-social tendancies.

I smiled at my computer screen as I read the email. I’d known it would come to this. I knew that if I just agreed with him and told him over and over that he didn’t have to go to the dinner, he’d figure out on his own that he should go.

And he did and it was lovely.

In the end, everyone has more fun when they’re doing something they decided they want to do rather than something they feel they’ve been forced to do.

1 comment:

Tiffany said...

That was a nice Valentine's Day surprise!!!