These days, Olivia is fascinated with all things ballet. She has a charm that used to be on a necklace that is two ballet slippers. She carries that charm with her everywhere. She won’t even consider having it put on a necklace or bracelet. No, she wants to hold it, thank you very much.
While holding her ballet slippers charm, Olivia prances around the room doing little movements that are similar to what she must think a ballerina does. She flicks her leg into the air behind her, her arms out for balance. She spins a little and kicks up toward the front with her other leg.
It’s actually kind of adorable. Except for that part where she calls out every three seconds, “Okay everybody, I’m going to do a ballet show. Watch. Mommy, watch! Daddy, I’m doing a show, watch! Gram, stop talking, and watch me.”
Yeah, that gets old. And yet, we all stop and watch every single time.
I am looking for an area ballet class for Olivia. I’m torn between telling whomever we choose as a teacher about her syndrome.
When she took gymnastics two years ago, I told her coach, Miss Maggie, about the 5p- diagnosis. I did this because I wanted the coach to understand why I felt the need to be in the class with Olivia. I also wanted her to understand that at that point, O had only been walking for about six months, so she needed to understand Olivia’s limits.
Now? I’m considering just letting a ballet teacher think that maybe Olivia is just a sort of clumsy five year old. I’d kind of like to see how she does with someone who doesn’t know something is wrong. Does that make sense? And if it makes sense, is it fair to some unsuspecting ballet teacher and to Olivia?
I want Olivia to have all the experiences other, typical kids her age have. I want her to try things and succeed and I want her to try things and fail. I want her to learn what she can do and what her limitations are. But I fear that telling every single person who comes in contact with her about her syndrome, that we’re setting the limits before Olivia even has a chance to try things for herself.
Sometimes, I find myself telling random strangers about 5p- because I’m so damned proud of Olivia and how far she’s come and how well she’s doing and how hard she works. But I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not doing her any favors by telling everyone about her medical diagnosis before they even have a chance to get to know her, Olivia, a five year old dynamite of a girl who dazzles us with her wit, her humor, her joy of life.
So…ballet class. To tell or not to tell, that is the question.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
2 comments:
I say, "don't tell". You can always put it out there later but once it's out there, it's always out there and you'll find yourself wondering if things are because of as opposed to in spite of....if that makes sense.
I had a long talk with Riley's teacher about a month ago about Riley's prematurity and now she's student of the month. Is it because of..? I'd rather it be "in spite of". Y'know?
I think leaving it unsaid is a wonderful idea. When I was in school (I was a kindergarten teacher before I became Hailey's mama :-) there was a study done researching how teachers reacted and treated children when the parents told them things like "my child has been tested as a genius" or "my child has behavioral problems" etc etc. The study showed that the teachers treated the child as "brilliant" or "challenged" according to what they were told and in doing so, the children responded accordingly. Anyways, I always wished that there was a chance to not tell people about Hailey's disorder and let them draw their own conclusions. I think that it is great that you even have the choice to do so...So I say don't tell them & then if it is necessary later on, you can always fill them in.
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