Saturday, April 16, 2011

Her Story

I've felt compelled since she was a tiny, angry baby to tell Olivia's story. When she was six weeks old and we took her out a few times and were asked if she was a newborn because she was still so tiny or when someone asked if we had an exotic bird in the carseat because Olivia was screaming her unique little cry, I felt the need to tell people about her.

But as she gets older, I find myself wondering how much I should share, especially when she's with me. See, this is her story to tell.

And now that she's four years old and obviously hears very well, I wonder if I'm embarrassing her when I tell people about her diagnosis and her history when she's sitting right there, smiling at them.

Here? I'm still okay with telling stories about her. This is more about me chronicalling her and Alyssa's childhood stories than anything.

Today, I took Olivia to Urgent Care because she had a fever last night and she complained of ear pain this morning. That was all it took. Somehow, this time, I didn't question whether we should take her. I knew that if I didn't, she'd suffer all weekend and we'd end up at the family doctor's office Monday morning anyway.

We came away with a prescription for an antibiotic and orders for her to rest. No problem.

My problem is that while she was being examined by the doctor, I told him about the 5p- (he didn't recognize the syndrome but when I told him it's also called Cri du Chat, he knew what it was...) he wanted to know how it affects her.

Olivia smiled up at him while I went on about low muscle tone, weakness in all muscle groups, etc. And I tried to make eye contact with him and tell him without words to accept that explanation.

See, we don't want Olivia to think she's got anything holding her back. Because sometimes, when we don't know we're not supposed to be able to do something, we do it just because we didn't know we couldn't. You know?

And he got it. He nodded and said, "Well, she's amazing, isn't she?"

I smiled and nodded.

She is amazing. Even when she's feverish and tired.

And I want her to be proud of her story, proud of herself. To know that she's amazing.

Just like Alyssa's got her own stories and her own amazing potential to reach. I want that for them both, to reach for their dreams and never think that anything can hold them back.

3 comments:

McKinley {Haolepinos} said...

What a cute doctor. I am glad he was able to catch on! I try to do non shallot things to my husband and he doesn't get it.

I totally understand what you mean. I think it is great you want her to understand that there is nothing wrong and that she is perfect exactly the way she is. Because she is! God doesn't make things unperfect, it is only our own judgment whether something is or isn't. I can tell you from my own personal experience that I actually liked hearing my mom tell people my learning disability. One because I had no idea what it was or how to explain it. Two I knew by the way she spoke openly about it, it wasn't a problem. Three by being open about it, it makes other people open about it too, it leaves zero room for judgment and allows them to ask their own questions. The way my mom always addressed it made me take pride in it.

I think that is why O was smiling when you were telling the doctor. She could hear your sense of love and acceptance. I am glad that you are so open about it. I love to hear your stories and hear how your family is doing. Thank you for always sharing!!! You are a great mom!!

Tiffany said...

My Olivia gets really upset when I talk about her when she's there!!! I think it's good for them to hear how ok we are with it though...like it's no big deal!

Anonymous said...

As Sophie is getting older I find myself not sharing unless I'm asked specifically. I guess I just don't want to talk about it sometimes. Like you said I don't want her to hear me say she is not supposed to be doing something. I don't want her to feel any different than her siblings.