Musicality

They say music soothes the savage beast. I don't know about that, but it definitely soothed Alyssa when she was an infant. And even now, at eight years old, her favorite way to fall asleep every night is for me to sing to her.

I'm not all that musical.

Sure, sure, I was a band geek. I played the flute for seven years in elementary, junior high and high school. Heck, I was even the drum major of the marching band for three years. Yes, I did indeed go to band camp. But I have no awesomely raunchy band camp stories. Remember, we were a bunch of geeks but definitely not the randy ones from American Pie. So I will probably never start a post with "This one time, at band camp..."

Anyway!!

Olivia? Was not so much soothed by music as an infant. She wasn't soothed by much, actually.

But I sang to her anyway.

The first time I saw her in the NICU, about 18 hours after she was born, she was lying there with her leg kicked out of the swaddle the nurses kept trying to wrap her in and she was quiet. Her eyes were closed but I couldn't be sure she was asleep.

I approached her and the gazed down at her tiny little body that had leads coming from it, a tube was taped to her face to keep it in her nose and she was still, just breathing quietly.

And the song "Your Song" by Elton John jumped into my head. There was one line in particular that kept repeating in my mind.

"How wonderful life is, now you're in the world."

Because my life felt complete at that moment. I had Alyssa by my side, ready to see her baby sister. My mom was there too and I was looking down at my baby girl, my infant who was calm, settled, just waiting for the moment when I could hold her.

Yes, those settled moments didn't last long after we left the hospital, but in the past four years, every single time I've heard that song, I've thought of those first moments in the NICU, thinking how wonderful my life was now that she was in my world.

Tom and I both sing a lot around the house. He's makes up silly songs about farts and burps and Alyssa and Olivia alternatly giggle at him and tell him he's gross.

Sometimes, he just sings the numbers, which, quite honestly, at 6am is VERY annoying.

These days Alyssa likes to fall asleep to "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri.

In the past, her sleep songs were "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", "The Rose", "I Honestly Love You" and "You Are My Sunshine".

I'm not that great a singer, but she finds my voice, when sung quietly in the dark of the bedroom with the hum of the fan or the humidifier (depending on the season) as background noise to be soothing.

And I'm so very, very glad I can do that for her. I think that music has similar powers that smell has, it can take you back. It can evoke memories of days gone by, it can bring back nostagic feelings. I like that. I like knowing that these songs will someday take the girls back to quiet, peaceful times when they knew their mom loved them enough to want to comfort them in the dark of the night with a quietly crooned song and a soft touch

Olivia tends to fall asleep with me holding her in the recliner with the soothing sounds of Jeopardy in the background. Perhaps reruns of Jeopardy twenty years from now will take Olivia back to that peaceful place. It could happen.

I have recently been informed by Alyssa, though, that I'm not allowed to sing when her friends are visiting. And I can't sing when I walk her to the bus these days. Or when we're out in public where I might embarrass her. Huh. I'm not sure I like where this is going...