I had my first mammogram today.
I know.
Actually it wasn't that bad. I think I have very squishy boobs because while there was a definite squishing sensation, there was never any actual pain.
My tech was VERY touchy, feely though. I got the feeling it was more about her being very thorough than her wanting to cop a feel.
She was also very chatty, which, honestly, was kind of nice. It took away some of the awkwardness of me standing in a room, topless, with my boobs being squashed one after the other.
And the best part? She had bigger boobs than I do.
Seriously, you guys, you don't know how comforting that it to a big-chested girl. I know it sounds stupid but it means something to NOT have the biggest boobs in the room, even if there are only two of you in there. But especially if you're the only one with your boobs all hanging out for the world (or just the tech, whatever) to see.
But enough about the mams. It's over, I'm done (unless the doctor sees something he doesn't like then...I'll probably have to return for a second show.)
Another reason being forty sort of sucks is that I think my metabolism has sunk to new lows. Of course, it could be an over indulgence in peppermint patties and not nearly enough physical activity but I feel just nasty these days.
It doesn't help that Olivia has slept horribly for the past five nights, requiring frequent and often wakes up from me, involving get OUT of bed, refilling her sippy cup, changing her pull up because of the afore mentioned full sippy cups, dosing her with ibuprophen or acetominophen in the hopes of bringing a tenacious fever down.
Last night, though, seems to have brought us over the hump. She was almost fever free and slept better. Not well, but better than the previous four nights.
I've never handled sleep deprivation well, but since turning forty, I'm handling it even worse than ever. I'm grouchy, I'm hungry, I'm TIRED.
Last night as I herded the girls up the stairs at 8:30 for bed, I informed the both, "I'm too tired to be bothered. So just don't. I'm too tired to scratch, I'm too tired to sing and I'm too tired to be mauled."
The scratching comment to was directed toward Olivia, who prefers to have her back or arm scratched as she falls asleep.
The singing remark was for Alyssa, who likes to have me croon the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Peri to her at least four times all the way through as she falls asleep.
And the final comment about mauling was for them both. They both like to lay on my arms (one on each arm) as they drift into peaceful slumber. And Olivia likes to maul me, pushing parts of my body into the position she finds most comfortable. Ugh! Last night I wasn't having it.
I told them to just go to sleep.
Yes, it seems being tired AND old makes this mama sort of mean.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
4 comments:
Well you look great for 40!!! I never would have known. For the boobies... I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!!! I am the flattest person I know and it too feels great when you find an equally flat chester person. You can relate on levels you never knew ahhahahaha. And for squishy boobs, I find that it is common with moms. I WOULD KNOW, especially because they went back to there original size... RUDE!!!! And don't worry about being too tired. Sleep is so valid in our lives, and if we don't sleep we literally can loose our sanity. My mom always told me "Happy mom, happy kids/baby(ies)."
I love your comments. Thank you for always sharing what is on your mind. If your ever sum up the courage to try Ahi or Ono I can tell you that they are the best fish because it isn't fishy. If your husband want to make it, it is so easy and fast he wouldn't even be upset that his beautiful wife didn't make it for him. He would feel like a gourmet chef with out even trying hahahahah. If you find your self in UT I will make it for you guys and if you want to try it then you know you are in safe hands. I will also make some chicken or steak just in case your stomach disagrees hahahaha!
I too cannot handle sleep deprivation. It is my biggest fear every time I have a new born, and while I am not proud to admit this, when I found out that CDC kids can have sleep problems, that was one of the things that sent me over the edge! Don't threaten to take away my sleep, I can't handle it :)
Sleep deprivation is so hard no matter what age!! I have to have a baseline mammogram on Monday (I'm 35) and I'm so nervous! It's stupid, I know, but I am!!!
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