Miss Manners

It's hard to be shy. I know this because, believe it or not, I was a painfully shy child. I hated it when adults talked to me because my throat closed up, my tongue felt huge and I could feel myself blushing as I tried to mutter something remotely polite.

And so I get it. I do.

But, shyness or not, I want my girls to be polite and respectful.

This morning, as the three of us walked into my mom's house, she said cheerfully, "Good morning."

She said this to each of us as we trailed in the door. And neither Alyssa nor Olivia responded.

That's not shyness, not with their grandmother. That was rudness.

And we talked about it. We discussed that it's respectful and polite to respond to such a greeting with, "Good morning."

As Alyssa and I walked out the door toward the bus, my mom again called out, "Goodbye, have a great day."

And once again, Alyssa didn't say anything. I made her come back in where she muttered, "Bye."

Againg with the rudeness.

We talked about it again tonight.

I realize that manners aren't instinctive. I have to teach them to my children. And I've obviously done a crappy job so far.

But we're on a mission. We're going to learn to say please, thank you, hello and goodbye. It's not about being nice, it's about respect.

Quite honestly, it's about common courtesy. Both of my children are perfectly capable of showing respect to me, to my mom, to Tom, to their teachers. Obnoxious behavior won't be tolerated anymore.

Really, the're not that bad. It's just that they seem to take some of us (me, my mom) for granted. As if we're not worthy of respect. And that's so wrong.

So I'm going to become Miss Manners as of today. I will be enforcing polite, respectful behavior. I won't require either of the girls to speak unless spoken to. They don't have to approach adults and begin conversations, but if they are spoken to by me, any of my friends, family, etc, they need to respond. Even with just a smile and a nod or a single word or two. They have to be respectful.

If I don't teach them this, who will?

Obviously, we won't go overboard and tell them that every adult in the world deserves to be obeyed without question. We teach stranger-danger. But family and friends? And even strangers when I, or my mom or Tom are present? Those are the times that I will be enforcing polite, respectful behavior.

I know this will be a work in progress. But I hope that by the time Alyssa and Olivia are teenagers, they'll know how to visit a friend's house and show respect to that friend and her parents. I'll hope they won't be a couple of of those sullen, obnoxious teenagers who treats everyone over twenty as if they're morons.

Okay, that might be asking a lot. But we're going to try. We have to try. Again, who else is going to teach them this stuff if I don't?