Life is a Soccer Ball

Let's face it, my kids live a pretty priviledged life.

They always have enough to eat, they have always had a roof over their heads and clean clothes that fit them. They play sports and have more than their share of toys.

They were lucky enough to be born in this century, in this country to parents who work hard to give them things they take for granted.

Alyssa played her first soccer game of the season today. Her team lost three to one.

And you know what? That's okay.

I want her to lose sometimes. I know, that probably makes me an awful mom.

But hear (read?) me out. I want her to experience disappointment now, when the stakes aren't all that high.

Losing a soccer game? No big deal, right? Except, to an eight year old, it's big. It's a LOSS.

But this loss is teaching her something. It's teaching her that life doesn't always go her way. It doesn't always hand her everything she wants.

And learning to lose gracefully is important. Learning to deal with disappointments and grief is important.

If she learned today that life goes on after a disappointment, then she learned a valuable lesson. She can take that lesson with her into bigger, deeper, more heart-rending situations.

She can lean on that strength she built today as she shook hands with the winning team. Someday, she's going to need that strength. Someday, the stakes are going to be higher and the world is still not going to be fair and she's not always going to get what she wants.

If that cute boy in her sophomore science class asks her best friend out instead of her, she's going to need to remember that life goes on after a disappointment.

If she gets a letter of refusal from a college the month before gratuating from high school, she's going to need that strength, the resolve to remember that it's not the end of the world.

When she goes on her first or second or even fifth job interview and doesn't come away with a job offer, she's going to remember that you just keep on putting yourself out there, you keep pushing and fighting and learning from every single thing life throws at you.

But sure, I hope they win next week, because the next lesson I'd like her to learn is that when you keep trying, at some point, things do go your way, if only because you kept at it, you gave it your best, you tried harder and harder and harder until you finally got the results you wanted from the start.

Life is full of lessons, even soccer games. Sometimes, it's nothing but net and you were the one goalie. Sometimes, it's nothing but net and you were the who kicked the ball. But every time is a chance to learn something about yourself and your opponent. That's just one more thing I hope my girls take from having me as their mother.