I am absolutely an over-protective mother. I admit it. And I don't apologize for it.
Who else is going to protect my children if I don't?
You hear horror stories all the time about eleven year olds who are impregnated while at a sleep-over. The creeps who do these kinds of things try to say that they were drunk and thought they were with their wives.
Ugh!! Whatever. How drunk would a person have to be not to know the difference between an eleven year old girl, A CHILD, and a grown woman?
So I over-protect.
At eight years old, Alyssa has never slept over at a friend's house. She's never even asked. She's a shy one, my girl. She's even said as recently as a couple of months ago that she doesn't think she's ready for sleep-overs.
And I'm more than okay with that.
Sure, I spent the night with friends many times during my teen years. And nothing ever happened to me. No fathers or brothers or uncles or friends of the family ever even looked at me funny.
But it happens. It happens too often. One time is too often and we have to protect our children.
I tell both of my girls that they can talk to me about anything, anytime. Like every parent, I hope to never have to hear that my child has been hurt. But I want them to know that they can come to me and I'll do whatever I can to take care of them.
So for now, I keep them close. I leave them with my mom and my husband. I hold them tight and pray that they're always surrounded by good people, people who only want what's best for them, who never want to hurt them.
Because this world has enough pain in it. We don't need to add to it if we can help it.
And when Alyssa's fourteen and asking to spend the night with her best friend? Well...I'll face that one when it happens. I'm just glad that she feels, at eight, like she just wants to be at home with me, where I can hold her close and tight and try to protect her as best I can while teaching her how to protect herself, teaching her that it's okay to scream, to fight, to run, to hide.
I don't want to crush her adventurous spirit, though. I don't want to make either of my girls afraid of the world. I want them to know that there is danger but also that there is a lot of beauty. They just have to be aware of both, seeing the good and the bad, so the choices they make are the best for them.
Oooh, being the mom is so, so hard sometimes.
A mom, a dad and two daughters. We're living ordinary lives with a twist of 5p- (Cri du Chat) for spice. But we're about so much more than our younger daughter's genetic diagnosis.
4 comments:
I am on the same page as you!! Thank you for sharing!!! You are not alone on this topic!!
I remember having sleep overs when I was a kid, it was such a part of my childhood, every weekend and every summer included sleep overs. So it was something I struggled with when I thought about what I would let me daughters do. fortunately we live in an area where sleep overs are sort of frowned upon. The culture here is to have "late nights" where kids get to do all of the same stuff that you do at a sleep over, except a parent picks you up when it is time to actually sleep. I am glad that I live in an area where this is the norm, so I don't have to be the only one saying no.
It is so hard...that line between protective and too much. It's difficult!!!
I'm right there with you! My daughter is about 2 months shy of 13 and she has never stayed over a friends house and my oldest is 15 and he has never either.. I'm known as the overprotective mean mother but if that's what it takes to keep my children safe so be it!
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