Saturday, April 2, 2011

Phases

We all go through phases. Periods of time that are usually adjustments. I know this. And yet, when we hit one, I'm often unprepared. I'll have gotten used to things going smoothly along, nice and calm, predictable.

And then, wham! I'm slapped upside the head by a change, a new phase, one that I don't welcome and that I wish would pass quickly.

I've learned in eight years of motherhood, though, that the harder I try to make a phase pass, the longer it lasts. If I patiently wait it out, it will pass so much faster than when I try to force it.

Right this minute, both A and O are upstairs sleeping in my bed.

To anyone new here, Alyssa started sleeping in our bed the first night she came home from the hospital. We didn't go into it planning to be co-sleepers for years and years.

That first night, Tom said with a sigh, "If she sleeps here tonight, she'll be here when she's four."

I'm happy to say he was wrong. Sort of. She slept with us until she was six. Sigh.

But...since we moved into this house, she's been in her own bed. And it's been great.

Let's not talk about Olivia. This isn't about her.

But Tuesday night's sleep issues morphed into her deciding she falls asleep and then sleeps through the night so much better in my bed than she does in her own.

Let me say that the whole reason we ended up co-sleeping in the first place is because I'm lazy. I want the easiest, fastest way to get some sleep myself.

And so I'm trying to wait her out. I'm trying to be patient and remind myself that this is a phase, it's something she's going through.

I remind myself that when the girls were infants, sleep disturbances almost always accompanied some big development, like crawling, walking, etc.

So maybe something big is on the horizon for Alyssa. Something that is going to be another step toward maturity, toward independence and this sleep issue is just a symptom.

That's what I tell myself when I kiss Tom goodnight where he's fallen asleep on the couch (poor guy) and the fight for space in my bed with two gangly little girls who have long arms and legs that jab and poke through the night.

It's a phase and trying to force it to pass will be more painful than just letting it run it's course.

Of course, that could be my laziness talking. Telling me to take the easier, less stressful way. It could be. I don't deny that at all. But I also want to be aware of my girls' needs and be sensitive to them. Again, justification. But for now? I'm going with it.

1 comment:

McKinley {Haolepinos} said...

I know several people who do this with their kids. It is fairly common. And I know when I was a kid, my dad was a early riser and he would always get me and my sisters out of bed early in the morning and bring us into their bed on saturday mornings. I LOVED IT!!! It was fun to wake up slowly and talk abut what we were going to do for breakfast. Maybe convince my mom to turn on some cartoons. Also we liked to fall asleep either in their bed or on the floor next to them. As a kid it is a privilege to sleep in the giant bed with your parents!!! Can you blame those cute girlies for loving their parents to death? hahahah