Anxious

We’re putting Olivia on a bus tomorrow.

I’m sort of losing my mind with anxiety over this seemingly small act.

See, Olivia isn’t the strongest kid in her preschool class. She might very well be the cutest (because, duh, I’m her mom and so yes, she’s the cutest) but she is not the strongest nor is she probably the most coordinated.

But we’re putting her on a bus and hoping the teacher is out there to help her off when the bus arrives at school.

I have visions of her tripping and tumbling down those stairs and onto the paved parking lot. It gives me the shudders just thinking about it and yet I can’t seem to think about anything else.

I know. I know she’ll probably be fine.

I know the teacher will more than likely be there, waiting for her.

Even so, I’ve convinced Tom to follow the bus to school and make sure someone is there to help Olivia off the bus.

I even know that kids get on buses every single day. Heck, kids with special needs get on buses every day. But not my kid. Not my kid with special needs. This is a big deal. To me, to her. So yes, I’m stressed and

And yes, Alyssa will be on the same bus but she’s reported that the bus driver always lets the kindergarteners and preschoolers off first, which means that Alyssa won’t be there to help her sister off the bus. Heck, I don’t even want to put that chore on her eight-year-old shoulders.

But what if the teacher is busy helping another kid off another bus when O’s bus releases the littlest kids? What if the kid behind her is in a hurry and gives her a shove? I can’t stand the thought.

I sincerely hope that I can come here tomorrow and write sheepishly about how great her first bus ride was. That I can say that she loved it and that I’m stupid for being so worried. I’d love to make that confession.

But for now, I guess I’ll just sit and quietly lose my mind with worry.

Does worry and anxiety burn calories? Hey, I’m looking for any positive I can find in this situation.

And let the record show that after four weeks of eating healthy, I’ve lost 16.5 pounds. Two more days left in August. We’ll see what the monthly total ends up being. If I survive the stress of the next twenty four hours.