Soft Spoken

I've never really been all that soft-spoken. I'm not so much rowdy as I'm just...not soft-spoken. Yes, that makes so much sense.

Anyway! Last night, I was a bit of a jerk to Tom. He called from the kitchen and asked if I was done with a bowl I'd put in the sink.

I went immediately on the defensive and snapped, "Yes!" See, in my defense, I thought I heard a bit of a snap in his voice too, as if he were saying, "Hey, if you were done with this bowl, why didn't you put it in the dishwasher instead of in the sink?"

But that wasn't what he said. He just asked if I was done with it. And then he put it in the sink. And then I felt bad for snapping and his feelings were hurt and ugh...

So this morning was fine, as it usually is even after one of us has been a jerk the day before.

On my way to the grocery store with the girls, Tom called to suggest I get two pounds of turkey instead of just one because we're going through quite a lot these days as we both attempt to eat healthier.

I answered the phone softly, "Hello?"

I knew it was him, of course. Doesn't everyone have caller id these days? But sometimes, I just like to keep him on his toes. I have been known to answer his calls with, "Hola?" Or "Guten Abend!"

Today, I was soft-spoken. And I continued the entire conversation that way.

He finally asked, "Are you okay?"

I said gently, "Of course. Why do you ask?"

He replied, "You sound really...relaxed."

And you know what? I was. Speaking softly and gently made me feel gentle. It made me feel mellow.

For the rest of our trip to town, I tried the soft-spoken approach with the girls and it worked. I was more relaxed. I was gentler. They were quicker to respond to my suggestions and questions than they usually are when I'm just louder and yes, sadly, sometimes harsher.

So this is the start of an attempt to be a softer spoken wife and mother. Maybe just a softer-spoken person all the way around. It can't hurt.

Doesn't the saying go that you ger more flies with honey than with vinegar? I'm tired of being sour and quick tempered. I'm ready for a softer outlook on life.

My daughters and husband deserve this as much as I do. I'm hoping that Alyssa can learn from me that being gentler with her sister will get her the results she wants much faster than being harsh and loud. I know she learned her current outbursts from me and that makes me sad.

This is not to say that I don't think my girls should stand up for themselves and others but there are often more ways than one to get what you want from the world.

It's worth a try anyway.