The "D" Word

Okay, so it has to be said. As much as I’ve tried to reframe this whole thing as a “healthy eating plan” we all know I’m on a diet. Might as well call it like it is.
And really, it’s not all that bad. The eating, that is. I’m always surprised when I stop eating junk and start eating things that are actually good for my body by how much I actually LIKE the good things.

Cucumbers, for example, are so, so yummy. And tomatoes, especially fresh from the garden. And yes, even salad.

But when I’m on a carb high, the only thing that I want is more carbs. Once I’ve had a single peppermint patty, I want more, more, more.
I’m an all or nothing girl. It sort of sucks, because I want to indulge at some point in my life, but I don’t want to get out of control again. See, I hate that I let myself go this far. I hate that to get to even the high end of my ideal weight range, I need to lose 50 more pounds. This is after already losing 13 pounds in the last three weeks.

Talk about lack of self-control.

But I don’t want this to turn into a wah, wah, wah post.

I am dieting. Because I need to. And that’s okay. No, I’m not exercising yet, but that’s because I’m too self-conscious to get out there and just do it, even in front of my own family. I still feel gross even 13 pounds lighter than I was three weeks ago. But that’s okay, because September will be a new month, a new goal/project and that might be my exercise month. It could happen. And at that point, I’ll suck it up, get over myself and get out there to walk, bike, run…move.

Because in the end, losing weight and getting healthy is all about eating less and moving more. That’s it. There is no big secret. It comes down to wanting to be healthy (or in my case, thin) more than wanting to eat those carbs/that candy/those chips/that extra helping of pie or mashed potatoes.

I realized this past weekend, though, that my decision to start eating healthy came on the heels of my month of gratitude. My month of finding something to be grateful for every single day. My month of not dwelling constantly on something I didn’t like about myself. Coincidence? I don’t think so. I think switching my mental processing did something, shifted something. It gave me the will, the confidence to make a change about something I didn’t like about myself.

That’s pretty awesome, I think. I’m taking a chance, making a change. And I’m taking credit for it. I am doing this. No one else can do it for me. No one else could make the decision to change my eating but me. And I’m doing it. So yeah, this is a great big “GO ME!” post. Sometimes, a girl’s got to pat herself on the back, even if just for a minute, wouldn’t want to strain my shoulder or anything. I’m sure by tomorrow, I’ll be back to feeling sorry for myself about something, so I hope you’ll all forgive a bit of self-congratulations for just today.