Make Her

Alyssa’s recovery has slowed. She was released to go back to school today. She’s not there. She’s still in a lot of pain and very lethargic.

I’ve called the phone nurse at the surgery center where A’s surgery took place. The nurse said it sounds very normal. She said that Alyssa’s recent increase in pain could be due to the scabs coming off, leaving her throat raw all over again. She told me to be sure Alyssa was drinking a lot and eating as much as she can.

But there are those I come into contact with who seem to think we’re not making Alyssa get well fast enough. It has been suggested that we’re ‘letting’ her lounge around and milk this thing.

Apparently, we’re supposed to be force-feeding her and dragging her off the couch and making her be energetic.

Okay. Sure. And you know what? I was a GREAT mother before I had kids too.

Every person deals with trauma differently. This is true for this type of surgery. Even if your kid got up on day four and asked for a Big Mac doesn’t mean that because my kid didn’t that I’m ‘letting’ her be lazy.

She hurts. Trust me, I know this. When I’m holding my sobbing nine –year-old in the middle of the night because her throat hurts so bad she can’t hold back the tears any longer, I don’t doubt that she hurts.

And you know what? Alyssa’s not a lazy child. She’s not one to lie around for the sake of laying around. If she felt even a bit of energy, she’d be up, looking for things to do, playing, sitting. But that’s not what’s happening. She’s lying down, sleeping, resting, hurting.

So honestly, I’m not sure what people mean when they tell me to make her get up. Are they suggesting I MAKE Alyssa get well? Believe me, if I had that power, I’d absolutely wield it. If I had the power to make her better, she’d be at school today, her throat all better, no longer raw and sore. I’d take away the cough that causes her pain and I’d get rid of the congestion that’s probably leading to post-nasal drip that isn’t helping the sore throat even a little.

I am so glad I had a dentist appointment this morning. My hygienist was so lovely. She told me her son had the very same surgery a couple of years ago and he didn’t eat for a week. The boy went an entire seven days without food. He’d sip fluids but refused food completely. On the seventh day, he asked for some meatloaf. And today, he’s healthy, happy, recovered.

She told me that some kids just take a little longer and not to be so hard on myself about this.

She’s awesome.

It’s nice to know that there are some helpful, non-judgey people out there.

As you can see, we’re still waiting for that corner.