Ready for the Corner

For the first time since the surgery, Alyssa woke up last night crying from the pain. Today is day five, if you don’t count the day of the surgery as day one.

She’s hurting and that makes me a little crazy. I know she’ll get better but I want it to be now, not next week, that she feels better.

She’s still on a pain medication schedule of every three hours and she’s sleeping pretty well but I keep thinking each morning, “Today. Today will be the day that we turn the corner and she starts feeling significantly better.”

And we haven’t reached that point yet. She still lays around, not doing much of anything. She hurts and she’s irritable and I understand that. I just want her to feel better.

But at this point, there isn’t much we can do except continue to push fluids on her, offer her food and let her rest.

I know she’s tired of hurting. She’s tired of laying around. She’s an active kid. She’s usually running, dancing, spinning, flipping and cartwheeling her way through the house. I want that kid back.

I know how lucky we are that she’s usually so active, so healthy. I know that. But I want that back for her. I want her well.

And yes, this lengthy (for us) recovery isn’t doing much to alleviate my sense of guilt over doing this to her.

Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow she’ll turn the corner.