Beauty

I look at my daughters and I am overwhelmed by their beauty.

Of course, as their mother, I see their physical beauty and revel in it. But I also see their emotional beauty, their spiritual beauty.

Alyssa has such a zest for life. She adores all animals and has an energy that sometimes exhausts me even when I’m finding it beautiful. She runs everywhere. If she needs to get there, she’s going to run. She adores her kitten and loves racing him through the yard. She longs for a horse and the acreage to ride it.

Even though she’s reached the grand old age of nine years old, Alyssa still retains an innocence, a sense of wonder as she takes in the world around her. She still loves the park, Bubby her stuffed dog and being tucked into bed each night. She still wants to sit on my lap most nights and longs for moments alone with me, without the distraction of her little sister. There is a beauty in that, an amazing gift that I try not to take for granted.

Olivia…fights so hard for so many things that come naturally to most of us. Her strength is so beautiful.

When I hold her little body against mine, I marvel at how sturdy she feels these days. For the longest time, she was so little, so fragile, her little hands like the most precious of birds that are easily crushed if you’re not careful.

I find beauty in her newfound strength, her sturdiness. I want nothing more than for her to be strong enough to fight her own battles as they come through the years.

Yet, I still find her neediness beautiful. She still loves to be carried down the stairs, to be held close against my chest, to rest her head on my shoulder, to have me rub her back and brush her hair out of her face as she falls asleep.

She’ll let her daddy feed her most meals if he’s so inclined. Yes, that’s probably more laziness than anything on her part but I find it beautiful that she lets him feel needed.

These days Olivia dresses herself most mornings. I still lay out the clothes but she takes off her pajamas and puts on her clothes all by herself. Admittedly, I invariably lay out pants with an elastic waistband rather than anything with a snap/button and zipper but I consider her budding independence a wonder to behold. It’s truly beautiful to see the pride on her face when she’s finished dressing herself. She knows she’s going an amazing thing and she wants you to acknowledge it too.

My girls are so beautiful and I know that I’m doing something right when I watch them. I watch them alone, doing their own things and I watch them interact and I feel a sense of peace, a budding sense of beauty coming from inside me that I made them. I am helping them still as they grow and learn and come into their beauty.

There must be something beautiful in me to have been so very blessed with these beautiful creatures. There must be and I refuse to let the ugly voice in my head win over the beauty that abounds.