The Meanest Mom

I grew up on a very small town, so small that the closest thing to a store was a Pepsi machine that stood outside the volunteer fire department.

In this small town there were a lot of other kids. My best friend from when I was about three until about nine years old was a girl named Kim.

She was fun and had awesome dolls to play with. We had great times together. I think I mastered the splits at her house one afternoon.

Anyway, Kim was constantly asking me to spend the night with her. I loved Kim but her dad freaked me way out. There was NO WAY I was going to sleep in the same house with that guy. To this day, I’m not sure why I was so freaked by him, but he always looked so mean and sometimes he yelled. Never at me, but often at Kim or her big brother while I was there.

So on the days when Kim would ask me to spend the night, I’d tell her that we needed to go ask my mom. Then I’d race home ahead of Kim and whisper in a fast, frantic voice to my mom, “Say no, say no, say no.”

Then Kim would arrive, panting. She’d ask my mom if I could spend the night and my mom would smile gently and say something like, “Oh Sweetie, I’m sorry, but we already have plans for tonight.”

And then Kim and I would go back to our play, all happy and me relieved that I’d been saved once again by my mom being willing to be the ‘bad’ guy.

A few nights ago, Alyssa and I were just sitting around and she mentioned that two of her best friends often mention coming to our house and spending the night. Alyssa told me with a smile, “I always tell them that you’re too mean to let them spend the night.”

I laughed. “That’s okay,” I told her. “I’m more than willing to be the mean mom.”

Alyssa reassured me, “They know you can’t be that mean, you did let me have blue hair last year.”

But truly, if it helps her save face, I’m okay with being the mean mom who doesn’t allow sleep-overs. My mom before me let me retain a sweet, fun friendship by making it her fault that I couldn’t spend the night rather than making me admit that my friend’s dad freaked me out.

I’m good with completing this circle, being the one who says no so that Alyssa doesn’t have to. It’s what we ‘mean' moms do.