The Same, Except Not...

My aunt has hosted the 4th of July family gathering for about four years now. She moved up to this area about five years ago from Memphis to be nearer to her surviving siblings and her mother.

A couple of years ago my brother invited one of his friends to come to the party. The friend did so and brought his three children. No big deal, right? Right. My aunts all went a litte nuts over these little girls. They were about 6 months old, two years old and four years old. Their father was separated from their mother and he was caring for them. They were started for female attention and so just loved all the attention they got from the aunts and female cousins.

This year, that same friend, who has since patched things up with his wife ran into my mom about a week before the the 4th. He asked if my aunt was having her annual party.

My mom answered in the affirmative.

The friend then asked, "Do you think she'd mind if I came over with my kids?"

My mom, ever polite, was taken aback. We don't invite ourselves to parties held by others. She also didn't feel she was in the position to tell him that he could bring his kids since it wasn't her party. She told him she didn't know if it was her place to tell him yes.

He showed up anyway.

I get that this guy doesn't have a lot of extended family in the area and I feel for him and his wife, who is a long way from family.

It wasn't really that big a deal to have five more people at a gathering that hosted up to 50 people at one point. There was plenty of food and even gift bags for all the kids that did show up.

At one point, Tom and I were sitting at a table feeling our girls. The friend, let's call him Chad, sat down next to me and called his wife and girls over. Tom was trying to get Olivia to eat and she was having nothing to do with it.

Chad asked, "Is her name Olivia or Alivia?" He pronounced the O and the A as long vowels to get his point across.

I answered, "Olivia."

He nodded. "Our's is Alivia. The same name."

??? Okay. Except...it's not. Olivia and Alivia are NOT the same name. Sure, a lot of people will pronounce them pretty much the same, more like Uhlivia but no, it's not the same. It's as if they decided the loved the name Olivia but wanted to go with something less popular.

And it drives me nuts when people decided to change the spelling of a popular name to make it different. Own the name you love. If you love Isabella, go for it, love it, name your child that name. But don't decide to spell is Izabellah just to make it different because it's STILL Isabella.

In the end, Olivia and Alivia will still answer to the other's name. Just like Hailey and Haylee will hear the same thing. In the end, one of them will just live most of their lives correcting the spelling of their name.

Though I have to say that the absolute worst creative spelling I've ever come across was Eighmee. Yeah, Eighmee is still Amy no matter how much you screw up the spelling, right?

So sure, it's just exactly the same. Right? No, not exactly.

Today, I'm thankful for diversity, for differences, even when I don't understand them. Because differences make life so much more interesting. Sometimes annoying, yes, but also interesting.