Wapner

I have to confess that I have a pair of judgey pants. And on occasion, I realize I'm wearing them even though I don't even remember putting them on.

For example, while at the pool today with my girls and one of Alyssa's friends, we were enjoying a snack I'd packed. A couple of kids, none of whom we knew, sat with us. They each had an ice cream cone they'd purchased at the snack bar there at the pool.

Once the ice cream cones were gone, one of the kids asked if he could have some of the corn chips my girls were eating.

Who does that? Who raises their kids to ask strangers for food? I mean seriously!

Neither of my girls would do that, whether I was there are not. And if I were there, I'd be appalled if they did.

Yet another example from the pool today was a little girl who was there with her dad, her grandma and her great grandma. She was the only child with these three adults and she STILL kept calling out to me to watch what she was doing. I was there with Olivia, the only adult in attendance with my child.

None of the three adults with this other little girl once told her to leave me alone. I know, she was probably all of three but isn't it our jobs as adults to teach our kids that they are not the center of every other grown up's universe?

I just couldn't believe that they didn't step in and suggest that she entertain them instead of trying to entertain me, a woman with her own little person to watch and be enthralled by.

I'm often guilty of judging my nephew's mother for her lack of maternal instinct. She's young, yes. But my mom was young when I was born and she never went weeks on end without seeing me. She never walked away from me and my dad, not really caring what was going on in my life.

I just don't understand this woman.

And in the end, that's the point. I don't understand her. I've never been in her shoes. I'd never want to be in her shoes. I'd never want to 'babysit' my own children, getting to see them all of eight or so hours a week. That would be a nightmare to me. So instead of judging her, I should probably feel sorry for her.

I'm working on that. I'm also working on getting rid of the judgy pants. But somehow, even after I take them off and walk away from them, they keep turning up. I'm a work in progress, obviously.